Without fail, every show I’ve covered that had 50-minute-and-above episodes would’ve been improved exponentially by leaving a whole plot and a half on the cutting room floor.

I could go on, but I won’t - see? That’s what I wish these hour-long shows would do! The only drama that was a full hour and didn’t waste a minute was The Sopranos ( Wire stans don’t me we can talk another time … for now, just rewatch that journalism season and think about what you’ve done.) I never thought I would yearn for the return of commercials, but at least they forced some structure onto these otherwise shapeless blobs of content that go on FOREVER just because streaming services don’t have healthy boundaries. Friday Night Lights episodes: 43 minutes long. Breaking Bad episodes were 43 minutes long. The Americans episodes were 43 minutes long. C+Įvery episode of a television drama should be no more than 43 minutes long Is it very dumb that he thinks it’s good for the daughters to be fighting so the dads can bond? Yes, but if he weren’t at least a little dopey he wouldn’t fit in at all on this show. In the pro column: He is quite understanding about Nick and Zoya’s living situation and offers financial assistance in this matter, which naturally Nick is too proud to take, but it was cool of Davis to put it out there. Instead he just stood by while she went back onstage? No. I do, however, judge him for not running up on that stage and pulling Julien off it the second her speech started to go off the rails, so, pretty much the second she started - and if not then, OBVIOUSLY he should’ve been up there the minute that video took a turn. I will dock points from Zoya’s dad for not even anticipating the no-duh ways in which that could implode - your daughter was JUST bullied out of her old school and now you think the solution to your problems is to put her in a room half-full of people who’ve sided against her in this sister-versus-sister war? - but Davis does not know this, and so I withhold judgment from him. So I do think it was correct of the dads to intervene, and I can see why Davis would think the obvious solution is to make this a joint party.

“I love you and I’m attracted to you” he says to Audrey in about the least convincing manner I can imagine. Alas, all these characters are so scattered it barely feels like they’re in the same show, and it’s too bad she’s sidelined with this plot and only interacts with Julien to talk about Aki when I feel like she’d be a lot more useful if she could engage in … well, whatever they decide to make the central drama of this series. She apologizes for making his sexuality about her when it’s not about her at all. (By the way, I don’t believe for a second that Julien keeps her “options” for Audrey’s backup dates in a literal little black book.) Audrey’s attempt at making Aki jealous backfires in a most pathetic manner - the cute guy from Andover is gay and figured she knew since “I go to boarding school and I’m on a dance crew” -but I have to give her credit for eventually coming around and confronting Aki in as fair a way as possible. B+Įven though we are supposed to believe this generation of Gossip Girl is woker-than-woke, Audrey is still out here using words like “normal” to describe heterosexuality, which according to Julien is why Aki doesn’t feel safe opening up to her about his burgeoning bisexuality. I thought he and Zoya had chemistry before, but I am no longer seeing it, are you? Their relationship is 80 percent misunderstandings. LOL at the idea of this child (a 17-year-old, I think?) booking a hotel suite for his FIFTEEN-year-old girlfriend for the night and that just being fine with every adult who would know about it. Somehow he magically reads into Zoya’s extremely vague “umm” that the birthday is loaded with trauma I don’t buy it, but sure, he can be that perceptive, I suppose. He doesn’t really do much, but the food trucks were a sweet if over-the-top idea. Not sure how long this can last, but in the meantime: Good on you, stepmommy dearest. She has a perfect blowout first thing in the morning, is just so happy to be here, and while she is trying very hard to win over Julien, she knows to respect boundaries (see: She didn’t show up to the birthday party).

Gossip girl episode 4